"Liquid Confidence"

“Blame it on the Goose; got you feelin’ loose..Blame it on the al-al-al-al-alcohol.” (“Blame it on the Alcohol,” T-pain and Jamie Foxx)

No wonder this song stayed on the charts so long! Besides the fact that it gets annoyingly stuck in your head for hours, it’s the basically the mantra of high school and college students across the country!

It’s a little thing most students like to call “liquid courage” or “liquid confidence.” It’s a little thing I like to call… “pathetic.” Seriously.

Alcohol is like the “catch-all” excuse for everything. You hooked up with huge mistake? You let out a friends’ deepest secret? You did something embarrassing and looked like a complete idiot? It was all the alcohol’s fault.

On the same token, so many people I know need to drink to have confidence. Whether it’s to flirt with their crush, ask someone on a date, or just to have fun at a party without being self-conscious, too many girls and guys need a boost from the bottle.

That’s not okay.

My neighbor is breathtakingly beautiful. She had a long-running national commercial and is a decently high profile person at USC; as a matter of fact, I’ve always wanted to look like her, to get attention like her, to be noticed like her.

But this girl, who I always think is out of every boy’s league, believes she needs to be drunk every single night she leaves the house (or in the afternoon if she is hanging out with an attractive boy).

It’s ridiculous to me that this phenomenal girl needs “liquid confidence” just to be comfortable around a guy! Sure, I know it’s easier to be fun and flirty, but shouldn’t he like you for who you are when you’re sober?

Don’t you have enough to offer the world without having to add alcohol to your list?

Confidence and Materialism

Is confidence a pair of Prada boots? Can you find it in a brand new convertible Porsche? How about in the pocket of a crisp new pair of designer jeans?

Self-confidence and materialism tend to go hand-in-hand in today’s society. I mean, I know whenever something bad happens or I’m in a negative mood about myself the first thing my friends do is grab my hand – and then reach for the credit card.

One trip to the Grove (my favorite mall), two scoops of ice cream, and three chick flicks later – I’m feeling much better about my situation in life.

Or it could be the other way around! I can’t even count how many times I’ve used this method to help further along a crush I’ve had on some random guy. According to my friends, you’ll get a lot more attention in a new pair of pumps than if you even wear a sign on your neck in big red letters that says, “NOTICE ME!”

I don’t know if I’d go that far, but let’s be honest; you do walk a little taller in some new high heels. It’s that whole “new dress” theory: you look a lot better in a new dress simply by virtue of the fact that it is new.

My mom was actually the first person to teach me this “fact of life” – and, let me tell you- it has worked like a charm.

My eighth grade boyfriend, a very serious boyfriend at the time, might I add, because we “went out” for over eight months, broke up with me after school one afternoon in front of all my friends. Needless to say, as a dramatic 13-year-old, I was devastated.

So devastated, in fact, that I consumed one large Oreo McFlurry and two Super-Size orders of french fries from McDonalds that night – which is never okay. This is when my mother gave me some tough love and a much needed intervention; in order to save my love handles from my love life, she took me to the mall.

“I don’t understand how this is going to help,” I remember asking her. And she reassured me that a new outfit for the Friday football game would make all the difference in the world.

And, as usual, she was right.

I strutted my pre-teen self all around the stadium that night in my new shirt and brown boots, and I felt like a new woman. Not to mention the fact that by midnight I had several new beaus and a very repentant ex, but that’s beside the point.

Lesson learned: new clothes equals new attitude.

Okay, let me just insert my opinion here. While I have to admit that I love clothes, shoes, purses, and just about everything to do with the fashion industry. I cannot support the idea that material possessions get you anywhere in life.
I’ve learned the hard way that all those boys did not notice my fabulous brown cowboy boots; they noticed the confidence I had when I wore them.

Trust me, you will never hear a man say, “I knew I loved her when I saw her wearing those Chanel pearls.” What you will hear them saying is something to the effect of, “When she walked in, she just lit up the room. That’s when I told my friends I had to meet her.” Sound familiar?

Put the Nordstrom card down and back away from the register! Now it’s my turn for an intervention.

Give your credit card a break and strut your stuff because you have a reason to – a reason that has nothing to do with your new Tory Burch clutch and everything to do with who you are as a person. Show ‘em what you got!

Plastic Surgery Promotes Confidence?

Can plastic surgery help increase self-esteem? Heidi Montag, Ashley Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, Ashley Tisdale: all have claimed that plastic surgery gave them the boost they needed to feel good about themselves and further their career.

Some have a completely negative view on cosmetic surgery. They say it’s trashy – or at least unnecessary. But I have several friends that have had some form of enhancement, and they each did it for respectable reasons.

One of my very best friends got breast implants the summer before she came to USC, and until she told me this year, I had absolutely no idea. She is, in my opinion, the perfect example of a classy girl who did it for her own confidence.

“I could never find clothes to fit me,” she told me, “It honestly had nothing to do with boys and everything to do with how I felt about me body. I just wanted to be proportionate, and no one knows I got them done except me, my family, and, like, 3 or 4 of my closest girl friends.”

When I asked her if the surgery actually improved her self-esteem she said, “Most definitely! It’s all about the way I walk into a room. I like the way I look in clothes, and that affects the way I carry myself now.”

One of my roommates is planning to have plastic surgery on her nose over Christmas break this year, and she has very similar feelings about this issue. “I could care less what other people think about me!” she said, “I just hate looking in the mirror and only seeing my big with nose!”

(For the record, I don’t see anything wrong or ugly about either of these girls. In my opinion, they are both stunning. These feelings are theirs alone.)

From celebrities to college students, plastic surgery has helped some girls feel better about themselves if done for the right reasons. While I am not promoting the idea of plastic surgery, I though this was an interesting topic to discuss.

Media-Savvy Experts on Confidence

After searching through hundreds of scientific journals about what the experts have to say about self-confidence and its relationship to success, I thought: why look any further than mainstream media to discover experts on self-confidence?

Celebrities live under microscopes are constantly bombarded with criticism, but somehow they continually rise above the gossip…straight to the top of the music charts and box offices. Let’s look at two strong, media-savvy women who have spoken up recently about the importance of self-confidence.


Shape, one of the most popular women’s magazines on the market, showcased Jennifer Love Hewitt on their cover this month…and guess that their feature article was about? You guessed it! Self-confidence.


Hewitt shares her tips on how to get confidence – and how it has affected her life. She says that feeling good about herself physically helps her feel confident about herself – which is what matters in the entertainment industry.

She started the interview by sharing that she doesn’t feel confident all the time. She told Shape the she has days where she looks in the mirror and says, “Ugh, really?!?” I’m sure most readers are like me and think: I would never think that if I looked like her, but her down-to-earth attitude helps make her advice relatable.

Some of her best tips to looking good and feeling even better? Hewitt says to make healthy living a priority in your life, don’t obsess over your weight, encourage yourself, find a creative escape, and add a spark to your workout.

Her emphasis on a positive attitude and a healthy lifestyle helps motivate her to keep going when the pressure is the worst. Even though most of us aren’t in a showdown with the paparazzi every day, we all can use her tips to help us face our daily stress and pressures.

Sure, we all need confidence to get us through class assignments, societal expectations, and tiffs with the people us, but what about when people personally attack you? Well, Jessica Simpson had a thing or two to say about that after a tasteless commercial aired on Fox bashing her.

The commercial featured several Dallas Cowboy football players making fun of Simpson’s weight gain after her breakup with Tony Romo. When asked about how she felt about the national commercial, she said that she would not let it affect her because she has too much self-confidence to stoop to that level.

“Self-Confidence is something my parents instilled in me at a young age,” she said. Her “self-confidence” speech aired on every celebrity news show this week (which means her voice influenced thousands of viewers).
Scientists can study self-esteem all day wrong and fill volumes and volumes worth of scientific evidence and experiments, but their voice impacts only a fraction of the people compared to people in the public eye.

Every single person, no matter his or her age, socio-economic status, race, or religion, faces stress and criticism in his or her daily life. That’s one of the reasons why it is so important to point out positive role models in the media, like Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jessica Simpson. They are experts in the field of self-confidence and have practical advice for how to manage those pressures.

Better Self-Esteem in Just One Week!

Character Counts!, a national organization that provides character education materials and training for groups, teams, and schools, has announced the dates for the annual “Character Counts! Week.”
Thousands of schools and organizations around the country with host special events on October 18th – 24th to celebrate this special occasion. The week focuses on children and the adults that serve as role models in their lives.
Students will make crafts like beaded bracelets, posters, books, and t-shirts that illustrate the “6 Pillars of Character.” These pillars represent the most important traits, according to Character Counts!
When they’re not being artsy, boys and girls will have character-building exercises disguised as games. Obstacle courses and trust falls pave the way for students to learn character and leadership in a fun atmosphere.

Most groups plan to have guest speaker give life stories challenges to all the children as well. Senators, past presidents, athletes, entertainers, teachers, and coaches have all volunteered to use their voice to make a difference in the kids’ loves all across the nation during this special week.

Anyone can go on the website and register to be a part of the program. Just fill out some information, and Character Counts! will send you everything you need to plan a successful event.

The organization provides everything from crafts and activity ideas, to prizes and party favors for kids, to t-shirts and other apparel, to lists of names of potential people who can contribute to the week.

In my opinion, this is an amazing opportunity for people to get involved in making a difference in the community. Anyone can serve as a role model, and one day out of your life could make a world of difference to a child. Something as simple as serving them drinks with a smile or helping them string character bracelets can have a huge impact on the importance of positive character traits in their lives.

But it doesn’t stop there.

I know whenever I serve someone else, I have a warm, fuzzy sense of accomplishment, and all the people I know say the same thing. You feel good about yourself when you do something kind for other people!

So, if you’re looking for another way to increase you confidence level, to get a perspective check on your life, or just to make a difference, Character Counts! week is a great place to start.

"Isn't She Lucky?"

Let’s take a walk down memory lane for a few minutes – back to a time when butterfly clips, belly shirts and tattoo necklaces were actually in style. My biggest concerns in life seemed to be music, boys and fashion, and I was spending most of my weekends scouring through J14 (one of the trashiest of teeny bopper magazines ever created) and the Disney Channel (because I wasn’t allowed to watch MTV) to define all that was “cool.”

During my most formative years in the 1990’s, Britney Spears was the biggest entertainment icon in the world. I wanted to be her – with her cute little haircuts, bubbly personality, and, not to mention, her beautiful N Sync boyfriend. While 13-year-olds like me thought Britney Spears had the most perfect life anyone could imagine, she told the world a different story with her release of the song “Lucky.”

While the song climbed the Billboard charts and the music video skyrocketed to number one on MTV, most girls missed her all-too-apparent message: fame and fortune are not everything in life. Check out the full song and the music video.

“She’s so lucky, she’s a star
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart thinkin’
If there’s nothin’ missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night?”

I think I missed the point when I was younger. I still thought Britney had everything I wanted in life, but I was obviously wrong. If she had all the things I didn’t have - like fame, money, popularity, beauty, the perfect body, the ultimate boyfriend, etc - then what on earth could be missing?

When I hear the song now, I think one of the biggest answers to what she lacks is self-confidence (and all the things that come with it). Other people told her how to think, what to wear, what to say and who to be. No wonder the child has such a messed up life now! She had no confidence, which means no independence or self identity, and that leads to a very lonely and unsatisfying life.

When other people, whether it’s friends, family, the media or you own personal entourage define your life, your confidence depends on their opinions.

I had a very similar experience with a guy friend at lunch today. He judged the appearance of every single girl that walked into the restaurant, but he never had a positive thing to say. “She has potential…once she has a little work done.” “Wow! Once she goes under the knife she’ll be a real catch!” “I thought she was attractive, but once she walked closer, I realized she needs to shed a few pounds.”

Seriously?! No wonder girls struggle with self confidence!

When we let other people (boys, especially) define our beauty, we surrender our ability to think for ourselves. Then, no matter how smart, successful, talented, and accomplished we are, we lose the self-esteem that makes life worthwhile.

So, as we stroll back toward the future, let’s learn a lesson from the legendary Miss Spears. No matter how “lucky” you are in life, you can never be completely fulfilled until you have confidence. And you can never have that confidence until you take it into your own hands.

My New Soulmate

I can honestly say I have never heard of, much less ever considered, finding my “social bookmarking soulmate.” Basically, this is a person who has similar interests as me and illustrates these interests by tagging relevant articles on websites such as Digg or Delicious. While researching “confidence” on Digg.com, I found a “35-year-old dude from California” that calls himself “smindsrt,” and, for the first time in my life, I can say I found my bookmarking soulmate!

Not only does this “dude” tag articles about self-confidence, but he also bookmarks articles about social media, starting dance parties, and making better conversation (all of which are right up my alley).

He has been a member of Digg since 1995, and has been tagging articles since then, which means he has been keeping up with his membership. He has not tagged very many articles over the years, By “not very many” I mean less than 50 (which is still more than me).

He doesn’t usually comment on his own posts; he just posts them and waits for other people to “dig” them or comment on them. His tags are not organized at all, exactly the opposite. They are about random subjects, all done at random times.

Unlike most “soulmate” stories, I have never met him. I don’t even know his name! I only know that this man likes social issues, especially self-confidence, and bookmarks the things he finds on an internet site so that people like me can stumble across them.

While this love story might not start with “once upon a time” or end with “and they both lived happily ever after,” I have a found a new love – not with “smindsrt,” but with social bookmark stalking and trending. I liked to follow his train of thought and interests in each article he tagged, and it made me think about what the articles I tag say about me. Maybe I’ll just have to ask him sometime….

New Trifecta

1. Hello World

Magazines, movie stars, moms, and students claim to have discovered the key to unlocking all hopes and dreams in life: self-confidence. Does this simple solution sound too good to be true? Or, on the other extreme, is it too impossible to pursue?

Self-confidence has become one of the most popular buzzwords in modern society, thanks to how frequently it comes up in interviews, articles, and advice columns. Cosmopolitan, Shape, Sports Illustrated, and almost every other publication tout confidence as the secret to capturing a man, losing that extra weight, achieving success, and basically getting everything you could possibly want out of life, but they stop there, forgetting to share with their audience exactly how to emulate it in their own lives.

Self-confidence has almost become a specific “X-factor” that people are either born with, or discover accidentally somewhere along the way. Because of this, we now have a fabulous abstract idea, with guaranteed positive results, but no idea how to make it a tangible reality in our own lives.

I am a student at student at the University of Southern California, where I am majoring in Broadcast Journalism. Through this discussion, I hope to find a way to share with students (and the rest of us) how to win confidence, and, by doing so, develop positive character traits and pursue life goals.

As a spokesperson for Character Counts! in high school, I showed organizations the need for character education in school systems. I strongly believe that positive character traits, such as honesty and responsibility and perseverance, are crucial to the development and success of children and young adults. While I was traveling and installing these programs, though, I asked thousands of students about their opinion on the matter. I discovered that the root of the problem is not necessarily a lack of morality, or even positive role models, but a lack of sincere self-confidence.

In my opinion, if a child has confidence in himself or herself, he or she will be able to stand strong in their convictions. Confident children will not be afraid to resist peer pressure or to prevent bullying, and they will be more likely to be leaders. They will want to make goals because they are confident in their abilities, and their independence will help them achieve those goals. The media has already instilled a positive connotation with the word “confidence” in society, but I want to take it a step further.

I hope to first sort out the contradictions of confidence in society, help define the term in an “easy-to-understand” way, discuss its challenges, and, finally, to confirm its results.

I believe that if students find a way to be confident in themselves and their abilities, then many of the magazines’ enormous promises can be possible. Not only will they hopefully grow as leaders and upstanding citizens in the community, but they will start achieving high goals, whether those goals are to get in shape or to get into college, because they believe in their ability to do so.

2. Profile Post

Confidence carries a lot of weight in today’s culture. Many people attribute success, positive character traits, and happiness to having confidence in yourself and your abilities. While searching Google blogs for an applicable site, I found a great post that not only speaks on the importance of self-confidence, but also gives a few easy ways to help a person develop it.

The Web site, called “Great Content Pages,” organizes different blogs into categories and most recent posts, which makes it easy to find posts on any topic. An anonymous blogger posted an article under the “personal development” section called “The Importance of Self Confidence” that shared many of my opinions. Since it was the first post (that happened to be uploaded only nine hours ago), no one has responded, but I liked it the most out of all the blogs I read.

In all honesty, the author gives no information about himself or herself in the article, but, since I have a wild imagination, I am going to infer a few things on my own. The blogger seems to be an emphatic communicator because he or she uses definitive statements such as “confidence is not just another asset. In today’s world, self confidence is a basis of your survival.”

I also find a very optimistic outlook in the way the author writes because he or she consistently hints that everyone can be successful if they learn to be confident. According to the blogger, “even a single self-confident person can change the attitudes of everyone in a room. Sometimes it seems as if the world itself decided to help such man. A confident person attracts friendships, but commands respect, too.”
Considering this is the first post, I hope to see several follow-ups in this site, especially more thought-provoking posts. Some of the statements, such as “your self confidence forms the basis of everything else in your world,” made me look a little differently at the way I view confidence.

I have always thought that a person’s worldview, or religion, defines the way the person makes decisions and constructs opinions, but this blog makes a good point. It says that if a person has high self-confidence, he or she will find a way to hold himself or herself together and will stand for something.

Basically, this blog believes that confidence causes a person to form opinions and ultimately to make decisions simply because it prevents them from being spineless.
I think this post would be interesting for anyone to read because everyone has goals in life, even if they are little, short-term goals. Its charismatic language helps illustrate the power of confidence in a really inspiring way.

“Self confidence gets all the attention. This in turn brings acceptance love, peace and energy. The energy makes you a good worker and even better human. And this, in turn, causes your confidence to grow even more. Get to this upward spiral and watch how you entire life changes!” (That definitely makes me want some confidence!)

I can tell by reading the article that the writer is confident in his or her own opinions, which is something I find attractive about the blog. He or she does not apologize for the direct statements, but rather backs those statements up with familiar adages. (“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything”…etc)

On the other hand, I did feel like the author hastily posted the article and was a little scatter-brained in the way he or she wrote it. It appears to be more of a journal entry of thoughts rather than a scholarly article. (But, then again, I might be the only one who wants to be scholarly about self-confidence!) It just bothers me that there are several grammatical errors that could easily have been fixed.

My favorite part of the post is that the author attempts to tell readers how to gain confidence. It says that “self confidence is neither genetic nor hereditary. Confidence has to be gained or learned, improved or practiced. It won’t come to you al by itself, but you can easily rise it in your self.” I’d like my blog to have a level of practicality comparable to the “Great Content Pages” site.

Last, but not least, the post left me feeling hopeful because it gave me enough detailed opinions. I want my readers to have that same sense of self-worth and optimism when they read what I have to say about confidence, character, and goal-setting.

3. Voice Post


This “oh-so-fabulous” entry combines a conversational speech with a magazine-style vocabulary to give readers the feeling that they are listening to a friend – you know, that super popular friend that always seems cooler and prettier…


Since the blog is directed primarily toward girls, Aimee E. Rapp uses analogies that only a girl could know or understand. “The authentic quality of confidence is the oldest beauty secret in the book. No bronzer or shimmery blush can create it. Not even high lights, low lights or a blow out can produce that internal shine that comes from a truly confident woman.”

Every girl knows and loves leaving the hairstylist feeling like a walking high-fashion ad. It’s that notion that the sidewalk is your runway and every head is supposed to turn because you got a new set of highlights and a head full of bouncing, voluminous curls. But that’s the point! Does every head turn because my stylist took a hot rod to my hair? Or is it some aura that I am sending out because I truly believe everyone is supposed to look at my hott self strutting down the street?

That’s what I like about Aimee. She uses glittery words to make blunt statements about self-confidence. She could have very easily said, “Get the picture, honey, that junk on your face is not going to help you one bit!”

She also makes the conversation personal by addressing her audience specifically with words like “woman.” “Woman, you need confidence with where you are in your life, career-wise, relationship-wise, body-wise, health-wise. If you don’t love and accept yourself right here, right now, it doesn’t matter what beauty tip you apply; you will always be missing something.

Or funky phrases like “go on with your bad self…” (which definitely made me smile)

One other thing – I like how she addresses popular culture. “Every woman, even the Giselles and the Jen Anistons, all have something about their internal and external appearance they may not like.” In my opinion, those girls are flawless, so to think that they are not completely satisfied makes me feel a little better.

This lady is all about mantras! I can just picture her giving herself a pep talk in the mirror every morning…”You are beautiful….You are beautiful…You are beautiful…” In any case, I guess if it works for her, then it’s good enough to share with an audience.

I just picture her as a motivational speaker in this blog. In all of her other blogs, she tries to approach her subjects as a professional with professional tips, not your cooler best friend trying to help you snag a date to the prom.

Aimee uses long, compound sentences usually, but she uses them in the same way we would speak them. She bolds and capitalizes her “tough love: words like “NOW.” Plus, when she gives advice, it’s almost like a command. “Give yourself time alone…Make yourself a mantra…”

I do have to say that it bothered me that some of her words were links that when I scrolled over them, were advertisements. Some of the advertisements were even videos that would not stop playing…annoying! To make matters worse, the links were words like “beauty” and “exercise.” Now that really sends a positive message…beauty is this deodorant…

Overall, though, I like her voice of reason on the confidence issue. She makes reading her blog fun instead of intimidating. She gives advice like an older sister and uses phrases I wish I was creative enough to coin!

Confidence Tips from Carrie Bradshaw

One of my favorite episodes of the Sex and the City series follows Carrie Bradshaw as she overcomes her fear of eating alone at restaurants in New York City. Carrie, a confident, independent journalist, doesn’t understand why she is too self-conscious to eat at a table by herself in front of other people.

She gets nervous about what other people will think of her or how they will judge her, so she always has an excuse. She brings a book. She says she is waiting on someone and has two places set at the table. She talks on her cell phone as if she is having a business lunch. All of this, though, is a mask for her real insecurities.

I think the reason I love this episode so much is because I am the exact same way. Instead of enjoying the moment and the peace to myself, I spend the whole time analyzing what people might think about me being there. Heaven forbid these strangers think I’m weird…or worse yet- unpopular!

Needless to say, by the end of the show, Carrie has learned to be comfortable enough in her own skin to go to lunch – on her own- with no book, or cell phone, or extra place setting. She is so proud of herself and enjoyed her time so much that she says in her closing speech that she actually wants to eat alone more often. (Although I don’t know if I really believe her.)

I don’t think I could ever get to the point of wanting to eat by myself, but I did try to eat alone this week when I had an hour to kill between two appointments. It wasn’t easy not to reach for that Shape magazine that was burning a hole through my bag or call my mom on my Blackberry that was sitting conveniently next to my drink…but I officially made it through – and lived to tell about it!

To be honest with you, I would not call the experience a fun one, but I did learn a lot about myself, especially the things I worried about the most. By the end of the house, I was laughing at how worked up I was getting over people’s perceptions of me. Who cares what these people think? It’s not like I’m ever going to see them again!

I challenge anyone who reads this to try it for themselves; you’ll learn a lot about your own insecurities. Or you might just like it! My friend Taylor said it was the most relaxing part of her week when she ate alone at the Farm at L.A. Live. Instead of worrying about people watching her, she spent her break watching everyone else!

Take some advice from Carrie Bradshaw and me (and my friend Taylor) and get out there! Go get comfortable in your own skin and tell someone about it. Happy eating!

View My Comment

http://confident1.com/build-self-confidence-by-being-lucky

Trifecta

1. Hello World

Magazines, movie stars, moms, and students claim to have discovered the key to unlocking all hopes and dreams in life: self-confidence. Does this simple solution sound too good to be true? Or, on the other extreme, is it too impossible to pursue?

Self-confidence has become one of the most popular buzzwords in modern society, thanks to how frequently it comes up in interviews, articles, and advice columns. Cosmopolitan, Shape, Sports Illustrated, and almost every other publication tout confidence as the secret to capturing a man, losing that extra weight, achieving success, and basically getting everything you could possibly want out of life, but they stop there, forgetting to share with their audience exactly how to emulate it in their own lives.

Self-confidence has almost become a specific “X-factor” that people are either born with, or discover accidentally somewhere along the way. Because of this, we now have a fabulous abstract idea, with guaranteed positive results, but no idea how to make it a tangible reality in our own lives.

I am a student at student at the University of Southern California, where I am majoring in Broadcast Journalism. Through this discussion, I hope to find a way to share with students (and the rest of us) how to win confidence, and, by doing so, develop positive character traits and pursue life goals.

As a spokesperson for Character Counts! in high school, I showed organizations the need for character education in school systems. I strongly believe that positive character traits, such as honesty and responsibility and perseverance, are crucial to the development and success of children and young adults. While I was traveling and installing these programs, though, I asked thousands of students about their opinion on the matter. I discovered that the root of the problem is not necessarily a lack of morality, or even positive role models, but a lack of sincere self-confidence.

In my opinion, if a child has confidence in himself or herself, he or she will be able to stand strong in their convictions. Confident children will not be afraid to resist peer pressure or to prevent bullying, and they will be more likely to be leaders. They will want to make goals because they are confident in their abilities, and their independence will help them achieve those goals. The media has already instilled a positive connotation with the word “confidence” in society, but I want to take it a step further.

I hope to first sort out the contradictions of confidence in society, help define the term in an “easy-to-understand” way, discuss its challenges, and, finally, to confirm its results.

I believe that if students find a way to be confident in themselves and their abilities, then many of the magazines’ enormous promises can be possible. Not only will they hopefully grow as leaders and upstanding citizens in the community, but they will start achieving high goals, whether those goals are to get in shape or to get into college, because they believe in their ability to do so.

2. Profile Post

Confidence carries a lot of weight in today’s culture. Many people attribute success, positive character traits, and happiness to having confidence in yourself and your abilities. While searching Google blogs for an applicable site, I found a great post that not only speaks on the importance of self-confidence, but also gives a few easy ways to help a person develop it.

The Web site, called “Great Content Pages,” organizes different blogs into categories and most recent posts, which makes it easy to find posts on any topic. An anonymous blogger posted an article under the “personal development” section called “The Importance of Self Confidence” that shared many of my opinions. Since it was the first post (that happened to be uploaded only nine hours ago), no one has responded, but I liked it the most out of all the blogs I read.

In all honesty, the author gives no information about himself or herself in the article, but, since I have a wild imagination, I am going to infer a few things on my own. The blogger seems to be an emphatic communicator because he or she uses definitive statements such as “confidence is not just another asset. In today’s world, self confidence is a basis of your survival.”

I also find a very optimistic outlook in the way the author writes because he or she consistently hints that everyone can be successful if they learn to be confident. According to the blogger, “even a single self-confident person can change the attitudes of everyone in a room. Sometimes it seems as if the world itself decided to help such man. A confident person attracts friendships, but commands respect, too.”
Considering this is the first post, I hope to see several follow-ups in this site, especially more thought-provoking posts. Some of the statements, such as “your self confidence forms the basis of everything else in your world,” made me look a little differently at the way I view confidence.

I have always thought that a person’s worldview, or religion, defines the way the person makes decisions and constructs opinions, but this blog makes a good point. It says that if a person has high self-confidence, he or she will find a way to hold himself or herself together and will stand for something.

Basically, this blog believes that confidence causes a person to form opinions and ultimately to make decisions simply because it prevents them from being spineless.
I think this post would be interesting for anyone to read because everyone has goals in life, even if they are little, short-term goals. Its charismatic language helps illustrate the power of confidence in a really inspiring way.

“Self confidence gets all the attention. This in turn brings acceptance love, peace and energy. The energy makes you a good worker and even better human. And this, in turn, causes your confidence to grow even more. Get to this upward spiral and watch how you entire life changes!” (That definitely makes me want some confidence!)

I can tell by reading the article that the writer is confident in his or her own opinions, which is something I find attractive about the blog. He or she does not apologize for the direct statements, but rather backs those statements up with familiar adages. (“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything”…etc)

On the other hand, I did feel like the author hastily posted the article and was a little scatter-brained in the way he or she wrote it. It appears to be more of a journal entry of thoughts rather than a scholarly article. (But, then again, I might be the only one who wants to be scholarly about self-confidence!) It just bothers me that there are several grammatical errors that could easily have been fixed.

My favorite part of the post is that the author attempts to tell readers how to gain confidence. It says that “self confidence is neither genetic nor hereditary. Confidence has to be gained or learned, improved or practiced. It won’t come to you al by itself, but you can easily rise it in your self.” I’d like my blog to have a level of practicality comparable to the “Great Content Pages” site.

Last, but not least, the post left me feeling hopeful because it gave me enough detailed opinions. I want my readers to have that same sense of self-worth and optimism when they read what I have to say about confidence, character, and goal-setting.

3. Open Post

Before we begin this quest for confidence, we must first understand exactly what confidence is…and, of course, what it is not. Some people, namely cynics, misconstrue the meaning of the word, leaving them unable to understand its potential.

Princeton defines the term as the “belief in yourself and your abilities.” I like this definition the most because it divides self-confidence into bite-sized pieces: belief in who you are as a person and belief in what you can do.

The first part of being confident is believing in yourself. Your background, faith, family, friends, education, morals, values, dreams and all the other parts of your life that are important to you make you who you are - a special (and unique) person with limitless possibilities.

Knowing that there is no one else in this entire world like you should help you realize how fabulous you are! If that doesn’t help, think of three things that you like about yourself as a person. Are you a leader? Do you enjoy serving people? Are you a role model for somebody special?
Sometimes when I feel the worst about myself, I list a few things I like about me because I know, since there isn’t anyone else like me, I can’t compare myself to anyone else.

My roommate practices this all the time. Whenever someone pokes fun at her she always says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about; I am the definition of cool. I am the only me in the world, and that’s all that matters.” (We laugh, but we’re all secretly jealous of her attitude.)

The second part of being confident is believing in your abilities. Whether or not you admit it to other people, you know that there are specific things you do well…or least do better than most. These talents are important, so be proud of them! You have something to contribute to the world, and that’s a really cool thing.

So here’s the second part of the exercise. Once you’ve pumped yourself up with three things you like about you the person, start thinking of your gifts. Do you sing like an angel? How about that photographic memory? Or are you forgetting about your fabulous fashion sense?

By the way, it doesn’t matter how dumb your gift feels! I have a friend who can fit her whole fist into her mouth, which I know that doesn’t seem like much, but whenever I’m down, just watching her do that silly trick makes me laugh- every time.

(If all else fails… fake it ‘til you make it! If you keep pretending to be the most attractive, intelligent, confident person in the room, then everyone else will believe you- and, pretty soon, you will believe yourself.)

Now that we know what confidence is, let’s discuss what confidence is not. Never confuse self-confidence with cockiness. Remember how self-confidence is “believing in yourself and your abilities?” Well, Princeton defines cockiness as “overly self-confident or self-assertive” (key word being overly).

Fun fact: the term cocky originated with the cockatoo because when you train them you have to keep their cages at eye level. If you place their cages too high, they look down on you, and, believe it or not, these birds start to think they are more important!

To boil this down to plain English, confident people appreciate themselves and their potential, cocky people think they are better than everyone else. Confident people don’t compare themselves to anyone else…which is precisely what makes them confident in the first place.

What is Confidence?

Before we begin this quest for confidence, we must first understand exactly what confidence is…and, of course, what it is not. Some people, namely cynics, misconstrue the meaning of the word, leaving them unable to understand its potential.

Princeton defines the term as the “belief in yourself and your abilities.” I like this definition the most because it divides self-confidence into two parts: belief in who you are as a person and belief in what you can do.

The first part of being confident is believing in yourself. Your background, faith, family, friends, education, morals, values, dreams and all the other parts of your life that are important to you make you who you are - a special (and unique) person with limitless possibilities.

Knowing that there is no one else in this entire world like you should help you realize how fabulous you are. If that doesn’t help, think of three things that you like about yourself as a person. Are you a leader? Do you enjoy serving people? Are you a role model for somebody special? Sometimes when I feel the worst about myself, I list a few things I like about me, remembering that I can’t compare myself to anyone else because there is no one else like me.

My roommate practices this all the time. Whenever someone pokes fun at her she always says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about; I am the definition of cool. I am the only Taylor (last name), and that’s all that matters.” (We laugh, but we’re all secretly jealous of her attitude.)

The second part of being confident is believing in your abilities. Whether or not you admit it to other people, you know that there are specific things you do well…or least better than most. These talents are important, so be proud of them! You have something to contribute to the world, and that’s a really cool thing.

So here’s the second part of the exercise. Once you’ve pumped yourself up with three things you like about you the person, start thinking of your gifts. Do you sing like an angel? How about that photographic memory? Or are you forgetting about your fabulous fashion sense?

By the way, it doesn’t matter how dumb your gift feels! I have a friend who can fit her whole fist into her mouth, which I know that doesn’t seem like much, but whenever I’m down, just watching her do that silly trick makes me laugh- every time.

(If all else fails… fake it ‘til you make it! If you keep pretending to be the most attractive, intelligent, confident person in the room, then everyone else will believe you- and, pretty soon, you will believe yourself.)

Now that we know what confidence is, let’s discuss what confidence is not. Never confuse self-confidence with cockiness. Remember how self-confidence is “believing in yourself and your abilities?” Well, Princeton defines cockiness as “overly self-confident or self-assertive” (key word being overly).

To boil this down to plain english, confident people appreciate themselves and their potential, cocky people think they are better than everyone else. Confident people don’t compare themselves to anyone else…which is precisely what makes them confident in the first place.

Beauty in Balance, the Voice of Confidence

This “oh-so-fabulous” entry combines a conversational speech with a magazine-style vocabulary to give readers the feeling that they are listening to a friend – you know, that super popular friend that always seems cooler and prettier…

Since the blog is directed primarily toward girls, Aimee E. Rapp uses analogies that only a girl could know or understand. “The authentic quality of confidence is the oldest beauty secret in the book. No bronzer or shimmery blush can create it. Not even high lights, low lights or a blow out can produce that internal shine that comes from a truly confident woman.”

Every girl knows and loves leaving the hairstylist feeling like a walking high-fashion ad. It’s that notion that the sidewalk is your runway and every head is supposed to turn because you got a new set of highlights and a head full of bouncing, voluminous curls. But that’s the point! Does every head turn because my stylist took a hot rod to my hair? Or is it some aura that I am sending out because I truly believe everyone is supposed to look at my hott self strutting down the street?

That’s what I like about Aimee. She uses glittery words to make blunt statements about self-confidence. She could have very easily said, “Get the picture, honey, that junk on your face is not going to help you one bit!”

She also makes the conversation personal by addressing her audience specifically with words like “woman.” “Woman, you need confidence with where you are in your life, career-wise, relationship-wise, body-wise, health-wise. If you don’t love and accept yourself right here, right now, it doesn’t matter what beauty tip you apply; you will always be missing something.

Or funky phrases like “go on with your bad self…” (which definitely made me smile)

One other thing – I like how she addresses popular culture. “Every woman, even the Giselles and the Jen Anistons, all have something about their internal and external appearance they may not like.” In my opinion, those girls are flawless, so to think that they are not completely satisfied makes me feel a little better.

This lady is all about mantras! I can just picture her giving herself a pep talk in the mirror every morning…”You are beautiful….You are beautiful…You are beautiful…” In any case, I guess if it works for her, then it’s good enough to share with an audience.

I just picture her as a motivational speaker in this blog. In all of her other blogs, she tries to approach her subjects as a professional with professional tips, not your cooler best friend trying to help you snag a date to the prom.

Aimee uses long, compound sentences usually, but she uses them in the same way we would speak them. She bolds and capitalizes her “tough love: words like “NOW.” Plus, when she gives advice, it’s almost like a command. “Give yourself time alone…Make yourself a mantra…”

I do have to say that it bothered me that some of her words were links that when I scrolled over them, were advertisements. Some of the advertisements were even videos that would not stop playing…annoying! To make matters worse, the links were words like “beauty” and “exercise.” Now that really sends a positive message…beauty is this deodorant…

Overall, though, I like her voice of reason on the confidence issue. She makes reading her blog fun instead of intimidating. She gives advice like an older sister and uses phrases I wish I was creative enough to coin!

Another Confidence Blog...

Confidence carries a lot of weight in today’s culture. Many people attribute success, positive character traits, and happiness to having confidence in yourself and your abilities. While searching Google blogs for an applicable site, I found a great post that not only speaks on the importance of self-confidence, but also gives a few easy ways to help a person develop it.

The Web site, called “Great Content Pages,” organizes different blogs into categories and most recent posts, which makes it easy to find posts on any topic. An anonymous blogger posted an article under the “personal development” section called “The Importance of Self Confidence ” that shared many of my opinions. Since it was the first post (that happened to be uploaded only nine hours ago), no one has responded, but I liked it the most out of all the blogs I read.

In all honesty, the author gives no information on himself or herself in the article, but, since I have a wild imagination, I am going to infer a few things on my own. The blogger seems to be an emphatic communicator because he or she uses definitive statements such as “confidence is not just another asset. In today’s world, self confidence is a basis of your survival.”

I also find a very optimistic outlook in the way the author writes because he or she consistently hints that everyone can be successful if they learn to be confident. According to the blogger, “even a single self-confident person can change the attitudes of everyone in a room. Sometimes it seems as if the world itself decided to help such man. A confident person attracts friendships, but commands respect, too.”

Considering this is the first post, I hope to see several follow-ups in this site, especially more thought-provoking posts. Some of the statements, such as “your self confidence forms the basis of everything else in your world,” made me look a little differently at the way I view confidence.

I have always thought that a person’s worldview, or religion, defines the way the person makes decisions and constructs opinions, but this blog makes a good point. It says that if a person has high self-confidence, he or she will find a way to hold himself or herself together and to stand for something. Basically, this blog believes that confidence causes a person to form opinions and ultimately to make decisions simply because it prevents them from being spineless.

I think this post would be interesting for anyone to read because everyone has goals in life, even if they are little, short-term goals. Its charismatic language helps illustrate the power of confidence in a really inspiring way.

“Self confidence gets all the attention. This in turn brings acceptance love, peace and energy. The energy makes you a good worker and even better human. And this, in turn, causes your confidence to grow even more. Get to this upward spiral and watch how you entire life changes!” (That definitely makes me want some confidence!)

I can tell by reading the article that the writer is confident in his or her own opinions, which is something I find attractive about the blog. He or she does not apologize for the direct statements, but rather backs those statements up with familiar adages. (“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything”…etc)

On the other hand, I did feel like the author hastily posted the article and was a little scatter-brained in the way he or she wrote it. It appears to be more of a journal entry of thoughts rather than a scholarly article. (But, then again, I might be the only one who wants to be scholarly about self-confidence!) It just bothers me that there are several grammatical errors that could easily have been fixed.

My favorite part of the blog is that the author attempts to tell readers how to gain confidence. It says that “self confidence is neither genetic nor hereditary. Confidence has to be gained or learned, improved or practiced. It won’t come to you al by itself, but you can easily rise it in your self.” I’d like my blog to have a level of practicality comparable to the “Great Content Pages” site.

Last, but not least, the post left me feeling hopeful because it gave me enough detailed opinions. I want my readers to have that same sense of self-worth and optimism when they read what I have to say about confidence, character, and goal-setting.

Why Confidence?

Magazines, movie stars, moms, and students claim to have discovered the key to unlocking all hopes and dreams in life: self-confidence. Does this simple solution sound too good to be true? Or, on the other extreme, is it too impossible to pursue?
Self-confidence has become one of the most popular buzzwords in modern society, thanks to how frequently it comes up in interviews, articles, and advice columns. Cosmopolitan, Shape, Sports Illustrated, and almost every other publication tout confidence as the secret to capturing a man, losing that extra weight, achieving success, and basically getting everything you could possibly want out of life, but they stop there, forgetting to share with their audience exactly how to emulate it in their own lives.
Self-confidence has almost become a specific “X-factor” that people are either born with, or discover accidentally somewhere along the way. Because of this, we now have a fabulous abstract idea, with guaranteed positive results, but no idea how to make it a tangible reality in our own lives.
I am a student at student at the University of Southern California, where I am majoring in Broadcast Journalism. Through this discussion, I hope to find a way to share with students (and the rest of us) how to win confidence, and, by doing so, develop positive character traits and pursue life goals. As a spokesperson for Character Counts! in high school, I showed organizations the need for character education in school systems. I strongly believe that positive character traits, such as honesty and responsibility and perseverance, are crucial to the development and success of children and young adults. While I was traveling and installing these programs, though, I asked thousands of students about their opinion on the matter. I discovered that the root of the problem is not necessarily a lack of morality, or even positive role models, but a lack of sincere self-confidence.
In my opinion, if a child has confidence in himself or herself, he or she will be able to stand strong in their convictions. Confident children will not be afraid to resist peer pressure or to prevent bullying, and they will be more likely to be leaders. They will want to make goals because they are confident in their abilities, and their independence will help them achieve those goals. The media has already instilled a positive connotation with the word “confidence” in society, but I want to take it a step further.
I hope to first sort out the contradictions of confidence in society, help define the term in an “easy-to-understand” way, discuss its challenges, and, finally, to confirm its results.
I believe that if students find a way to be confident in themselves and their ability, then many of the magazines’ enormous promises can be possible. Not only will they hopefully grow as leaders and upstanding citizens in the community, but they will start achieving high goals, whether those goals are to get in shape or to get into college, because they believe in their ability to do so.