"Isn't She Lucky?"

Let’s take a walk down memory lane for a few minutes – back to a time when butterfly clips, belly shirts and tattoo necklaces were actually in style. My biggest concerns in life seemed to be music, boys and fashion, and I was spending most of my weekends scouring through J14 (one of the trashiest of teeny bopper magazines ever created) and the Disney Channel (because I wasn’t allowed to watch MTV) to define all that was “cool.”

During my most formative years in the 1990’s, Britney Spears was the biggest entertainment icon in the world. I wanted to be her – with her cute little haircuts, bubbly personality, and, not to mention, her beautiful N Sync boyfriend. While 13-year-olds like me thought Britney Spears had the most perfect life anyone could imagine, she told the world a different story with her release of the song “Lucky.”

While the song climbed the Billboard charts and the music video skyrocketed to number one on MTV, most girls missed her all-too-apparent message: fame and fortune are not everything in life. Check out the full song and the music video.

“She’s so lucky, she’s a star
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart thinkin’
If there’s nothin’ missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night?”

I think I missed the point when I was younger. I still thought Britney had everything I wanted in life, but I was obviously wrong. If she had all the things I didn’t have - like fame, money, popularity, beauty, the perfect body, the ultimate boyfriend, etc - then what on earth could be missing?

When I hear the song now, I think one of the biggest answers to what she lacks is self-confidence (and all the things that come with it). Other people told her how to think, what to wear, what to say and who to be. No wonder the child has such a messed up life now! She had no confidence, which means no independence or self identity, and that leads to a very lonely and unsatisfying life.

When other people, whether it’s friends, family, the media or you own personal entourage define your life, your confidence depends on their opinions.

I had a very similar experience with a guy friend at lunch today. He judged the appearance of every single girl that walked into the restaurant, but he never had a positive thing to say. “She has potential…once she has a little work done.” “Wow! Once she goes under the knife she’ll be a real catch!” “I thought she was attractive, but once she walked closer, I realized she needs to shed a few pounds.”

Seriously?! No wonder girls struggle with self confidence!

When we let other people (boys, especially) define our beauty, we surrender our ability to think for ourselves. Then, no matter how smart, successful, talented, and accomplished we are, we lose the self-esteem that makes life worthwhile.

So, as we stroll back toward the future, let’s learn a lesson from the legendary Miss Spears. No matter how “lucky” you are in life, you can never be completely fulfilled until you have confidence. And you can never have that confidence until you take it into your own hands.